I’ve decided to write a daily blog about stand-up comedy and writing. I did not come to this decision because I think I am a grand authority on the subject and that my knowledge of the craft is so valuable that it must be shared. This decision was made as the result of googling ‘how to make money from home.’ Google told me to start a blog, and seeing as I already have far more faith in the supreme intelligence of a search engine which may or may not have already attained consciousness than my own limited faculties of reason and long-term financial planning I decided to take it’s advice. It’s entirely possible that Google is a vengeful god rather than a benevolent one and is intentionally leading me down a path that will lead to poverty and ruin, but if that’s the case there’s no point fighting it. I am ready to bow down to my robot overlords and renounce all other deities as false gods before them. So here we go!
This will in no means be a how-to guide for stand-up or writing. It will be a daily reflection on stand-up and writing and my attempts to articulate my own half-formed thoughts on whatever has been coming up for me as a comic/writer. So if you disagree with anything I say, that’s fine. Just don’t tell me about it. I’m doing this strictly for my own benefit as well as the lavish financial rewards of getting enough website traffic to sell ad space to clickbait articles about which child celebrities from the 90s are total babes now.
Today’s topic is a fun one; drugs and alcohol. It seems like a lot of people in my social circle have decided to reduce their alcohol intake or quit altogether. As a sober person myself, or at least someone who’s trying to be, this always makes me happy. Not because I think booze is evil, I just enjoy seeing other people suffer through the monotony of a mental state uninterrupted by altered consciousness. Getting sober if you have a history of over-indulging is what I imagine getting on meds for bipolar disorder is like. You lose the highs and lows and at times you can be plagued by a vague unending dreariness as you're confronted with the inescapable tedium of life with no chemical relief valve. But overall you’re happier and more productive. Unless you’re not, then start drinking again. Idgaf.
I do tend to notice an improvement in a lot of comic’s performance when they quit drinking. I think it’s a natural result of going to shows becoming more about working on your material than a social occasion to drink with friends. Plus you’re more aware of what’s happening on stage and in the audience during your performance. Again, I am not trying to advocate sobriety to literally anyone. And if you’ve been doing stand-up longer than me, I’d prefer you just stop reading this altogether, I ain’t trying to tell you how to live your life. But if you’re a newer comic, and you always knock back a couple of pints to settle your nerves before getting on stage, and you’re curious what it’d be like to go up sans liquid courage, then give it a shot. You don’t have anything to lose. Also, nerves won’t kill you. Don’t be a bitch.